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Indestata > Debt > 9 Life Skills Men Aren’t Taught Because They’re Supposed to ‘Figure It Out’
Debt

9 Life Skills Men Aren’t Taught Because They’re Supposed to ‘Figure It Out’

TSP Staff By TSP Staff Last updated: May 17, 2025 8 Min Read
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Image source: Unsplash

From a young age, boys are often told to be strong, self-reliant, and stoic. They’re expected to “man up,” solve problems silently, and somehow acquire adult life skills through trial and error. Unlike girls, who may be encouraged to talk through emotions, learn domestic responsibilities, and seek help, many men are pushed toward independence without a roadmap.

The result? Gaps. In emotional development, practical knowledge, and basic everyday tools needed to function well as an adult. It’s not about blaming individuals. It’s about recognizing a systemic failure in how we prepare men for the world. Because expecting someone to “just figure it out” often leaves them frustrated, isolated, or at a disadvantage in relationships, work, and health. Here are nine life skills men are rarely taught but desperately need to thrive.

1. Naming and Processing Emotions

Many men grow up hearing that expressing feelings is a weakness. “Don’t cry.” “Be a man.” These messages don’t build strength. They build emotional suppression. Emotional literacy, the ability to identify, articulate, and manage emotions, is foundational to mental health, communication, and relationships. But it’s rarely encouraged in boys. As men, they’re expected to perform emotional labor without ever being taught how.

This leads to misdirected anger, bottled-up stress, and difficulty forming deep connections. Learning to recognize feelings like sadness, anxiety, or shame (and then deal with them) is a game-changer for personal growth and healthy relationships.

2. Basic Home and Domestic Management

Cooking a balanced meal, doing laundry properly, and cleaning without being asked—these are skills, not gendered responsibilities. Unfortunately, many boys are excused from learning them because of outdated household roles. As adults, this translates into men relying on partners, eating poorly, or living in disorganized environments.

Mastering domestic life isn’t just about survival. It’s about self-respect and being a fully functioning adult. Whether single, married, or parenting, every man benefits from knowing how to manage a home.

3. Asking for Help Without Shame

There’s a deep cultural stigma around men asking for help. It’s seen as a weakness, as if competence means knowing everything from the jump. But in reality, no one learns in a vacuum. This mindset keeps men stuck, struggling through mental health issues, professional roadblocks, or even basic life challenges they’re afraid to admit they don’t understand. The truth? Asking for help is a sign of emotional maturity and self-awareness.

Whether it’s going to therapy, calling a friend, or simply Googling how to fix a leaky faucet, the most successful people ask and learn. Not pretending to have it all together is where real growth starts.

4. Setting and Respecting Personal Boundaries

Many men are never taught what healthy boundaries look like, let alone how to set them. Often taught to suppress needs and push through discomfort, they end up tolerating toxic behavior or being unable to recognize when they’re crossing lines themselves. This leads to burnout, conflict, and strained relationships. Boundaries are essential, not selfish. They help define your limits in friendships, romance, work, and even family.

Learning to say “no,” to walk away from unhealthy situations, and to accept others’ boundaries is one of the most freeing and powerful life tools any man can possess.

5. Conflict Resolution Without Aggression or Withdrawal

When emotions get heated, many men resort to either shutting down or lashing out. That’s not biology. It’s social conditioning. Effective conflict resolution involves listening, staying present, speaking calmly, and seeking solutions, not domination. But few men are shown how to navigate disagreements without making things worse or avoiding them altogether.

Mastering this skill leads to better communication, deeper intimacy, and less damage in all areas of life—from boardrooms to bedrooms.

Image source: Unsplash

6. Understanding Mental Health and When to Get Help

The stereotype of the “strong, silent type” is silently killing men. Suicide rates, substance abuse, and undiagnosed mental health issues disproportionately affect men because they’re often discouraged from acknowledging emotional pain. They’re told to push through instead of checking in with themselves.

But strength isn’t about ignoring pain. It’s about facing it. Recognizing anxiety, depression, burnout, or trauma and taking action (whether through therapy, support groups, or rest) is not only smart. It’s life-saving.

7. Financial Literacy Beyond “Make More Money”

Many men are taught to equate financial success with masculinity but are not taught how money actually works. Basic budgeting, saving, investing, and understanding credit are rarely part of the conversation growing up. As a result, men can find themselves working hard yet feeling financially stuck or overwhelmed.

Knowing how to manage money wisely (not just earn it) is empowering. It builds long-term stability, reduces stress, and provides more freedom and options in life. This isn’t just about wealth. It’s about control over your future.

8. Nurturing Friendships and Support Systems

Male friendships often revolve around activity—sports, work, games—but lack emotional depth. While that may seem fine on the surface, it leaves many men without a true support network during hard times. Without learning how to foster vulnerability, offer emotional support, and show affection within platonic friendships, many men grow up feeling isolated. This can lead to loneliness, resentment, and over-reliance on romantic partners for emotional needs.

Deep, affirming friendships are essential to well-being, and every man deserves to know how to build them.

9. Being Vulnerable Without Losing Masculinity

At the heart of all these skills is vulnerability, the thing most men are taught to avoid at all costs. Yet vulnerability is where intimacy, connection, growth, and healing live. The fear is that being vulnerable makes a man weak, but in truth, it takes courage. Courage to admit pain, ask for help, show love, cry, or admit fear.

Real masculinity isn’t about appearing invincible. It’s about showing up fully, flaws and all, and still being respected. That’s strength. That’s what we should be teaching.

It’s Time to Rethink What We Teach Boys About Manhood

The old blueprint for masculinity—silent, stoic, self-sufficient—might build toughness, but it often breaks men down in the long run. Life is complex. Human beings are emotional. And “figuring it out” without tools or guidance isn’t just unfair. It’s ineffective. These life skills aren’t soft. They’re essential. And teaching them doesn’t make men weaker. It makes them stronger, healthier, and more whole.

Which of these skills do you wish you had been taught earlier or are now working to master?

Read More:

10 Reasons Men Walk Away From Relationships

The 10 Most Unattractive Qualities In A Man According To Women

Read the full article here

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